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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Scott A. Niewinski's LiveJournal:

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    Friday, March 10th, 2006
    5:09 am
    I realized I have kind of been an asshole to my friends lately. Sorry.
    Sunday, March 13th, 2005
    8:23 pm
    How can a husband call his wife an asshole? Then say that your kid( me ) needs to grow up after yelling about how the other two kids called him fat when we went camping like 7 or 8 years ago?
    Monday, December 20th, 2004
    8:12 pm
    I guess no one groks. :(
    Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
    9:48 pm
    Thursday, November 18th, 2004
    6:25 am
    Good
    Elton john - Peachtree road.
    Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
    3:33 am
    My own mind...
    I like being in a room, by myself with the door shut. I like it when the windows are closed and you cant see outside them. With a dim light to cover the whole room. I have to be in there for a while so i can let my thoughts fill the room and have it become basically my mind.
    thats thats i did tonight. it was refreshing.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Friday, July 30th, 2004
    8:19 pm
    woah..
    What is your name?: Scott
    Are you named after anyone?: nope
    Would you name a child of yours after you?: no
    If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Stephiane
    If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Desarae, sweet name.
    Your gender: male
    Straight/Gay/Bi: straight
    Single?: no
    If not, do you want to be?: i do not want to be
    Birthdate: Feb 25
    Age you wish you were: 12
    Your height: 5'9
    Eye color: brown
    Happy with it?: my eyes? No, wish they were… warmer.
    Hair color: Dark brown
    Lefty/righty: Lefty
    Whats your job?: Painting paper boy
    Piercings?: want one but no. Nose.
    Tattoos?: No, but if I had one I would want it to be on my back between my shoulder blades.
    Obsessions?: Fully Human, Self actualization, Awareness.
    Do you have any secrets?: Yes, but I usually tell anyone a lot.
    Do you hate yourself?: LoL, no.
    Can you sing?: Of course I can just on in the way I wish I could.
    Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Not really.
    Are you a loner?: We are all loners.
    What are your #1 priorities in life?: To become fully human and to lose all fear. Awareness. Love.
    If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yea, just to talk deep and shit.
    Are you a daredevil?: IN my own little way.
    Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: i fear my negativity.
    Are you passive or agressive?: passive
    Do you have a journal?: on and off.
    What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength- My ablilty to love and my wisdom weakness- Girls…
    If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: i'd make myself be able to do what I want to do and not be afraid of my risks in life, I have missed so much in my life already because of it.
    Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yes. Just Yes.
    Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i regret not showing love, and not telling people how wonderful they are.
    Do you think life has been good so far?: Wonderful. Simply wonderful.
    What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Take risk and live.
    Are you confident?: Usually.

    Å~Do You...Å~
    Smoke?: No.
    Do drugs?: No.
    Read the newspaper?: No.
    Pray?: No, Prays can’t help you.
    Go to church?:
    Sleep with stuffed animals?: Yes, and I have a blankie.
    Take walks in the rain?: Only when it’s a heavy rain and I can sing dancing in the rain while kicking the water.
    Talk to people even though you hate them?: Hates a strong word. I don’t have anything against people so.
    Drive?: Yes.
    Like to drive fast?: just above the speed limit.

    Would or Have You Ever?

    Liked your voice?: I like it in my head, not on tape.
    Hurt yourself?: emotionally yes, and I have tripped and shit.
    Been out of the country?: no.
    Eaten something that made other people sick?: no.
    Been in love?: Definiatly.
    Gone skinny dipping?: Not yet.
    Had a medical emergency?: when I was born I was in the hospital for like two weeks.
    Had surgery?: yeah
    Been on stage?: When I used to dance as a kid.
    Gone one day without food?: Half-a-day.
    Talked on the phone all night?: Many times..
    Slept all day?: very hard for me.
    Killed someone?: No.
    Made out with a stranger?: no… its like a fantasy to everyone.
    Thought you're going crazy?: only in a dream and once in school.
    Been betrayed?: everyone has, it’s risking in relationships.
    Had a dream that came true?: Yes.
    Broken the law?: nothing very bad
    Met a famous person?: No.
    Stolen anything?: I stole candy once but I didn’t know it.
    Been on radio/tv?: no
    Bungee jumped?: no.
    Had a dream that kept coming back?: Only came back once.

    Whats your favorite...?:

    color?: Green because of the plants and trees.
    animal?: Diana Monkeys
    movie?: Serendipity, moulin rouge, Waking life.
    song?: Anything for love.
    Actress?: Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, nicole kidman.
    Actor?: Kevin Spacey, Johnny Depp, David spade.
    Place?: Wild life, anywhere really that you can find beauty.
    Store?: Micheals and Tj max.
    food?: Spagheitti, because everyone makes it different with the herbs and it always tastes good.
    drink?: Cream soda
    holiday?: Christmas. Easy.
    friend?: Nelson, Alexander, Dave, Pat, Kelsey, Pender, Kendra.
    number?: 5, Cant go wrong with five
    perfume/cologne?: Memorize

    Beliefs

    Believe in life on other planets?: Yes, but very, and I mean, very rare for life as smart as ours.
    Miracles?: No, we are our luck.
    Astrology?: No.
    Magic?: stupid.
    God?: The universe.
    Satan?: No.
    Santa?: Santa was a monkey from thousands of years ago. ATHF.
    Luck?: Fuck no, we are our luck.
    Love at first sight?: Easily. Love is simple, we are complex.
    Witches?: Wtf?
    Easter bunny?: no.
    Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Depends on who the people are.
    Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: A lot of these question can blow me.
    Do you wish on stars?: Same as last question.

    Å~Deep Theological QuestionsÅ~

    Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: There’s no such thing as heaven or hell. WE live in our minds.
    Do you think God has a gender?: No, he just is.
    Do you believe in organized religion?: All religions are just ways of living.
    Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Come on we all know we are kind of our own gay friend.
    Who are your closest friends?: Anyways really can be one depending on the situation.
    Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Steven Craig.
    What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:
    Your favorite inside joke?: ATHF
    Who's your longest known friend?: Pat, ever since I can remember he has been their.
    Shyest?: Nelson
    Funniest?: Alexander.
    Sweetest?: Pender
    Weirdest?: Nelson.
    Smartest/wisest?: That’s me, jesus.
    Ditziest?: Blow me questions.
    Last person you talked to online?: Nelson.
    Who do you talk to most online?: Nelson, that’s about all I talk to on line. If I needed to cut my buddy list down to people I only talk to it would consist of maybe four people at the most.
    Who are you on the phone with most?: Alexander
    Who listens to your problems?: Steven Craig.
    Who do you fight most with?: my little sister.
    Who's the nicest?: Pender, I love amanda, she is a wonderful person.
    Who's the best singer?: that’s me. All the way, just like Frankie.
    Who's on your shit-list?: no one.
    Who's your second family?: The bruces and Liebowitz’s.
    Do you always feel understood?: I like ¾’s understood. Always mising one piece of the puzzle.
    Who's the loudest friend?: Alexander.
    Do you trust others easily?: Yes. It’s the only way to find others.
    Who's house were you last at?: Mom’s.
    Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: hah, safe? My girl friend’s arms.
    Do your friends know you?: maybe four of them.
    Friend that lives farthest away: Nelson.

    Love and All That

    Do you consider love a mistake?: No way, love is the best thing in the whole world. How can it be a mistake?
    What do you find romantic?: Deep conversations at night time that last all night.
    Turn-on?: thighs, stomachs, backs. The bigger the thighs the better. THUNDER THIGHS ALL THE WAY. Then all the other stuff, humor, you know that stuff. Ha.
    Turn-off?: Small world minds.
    First kiss?: nasty. The girl didn’t even wanna kiss me.
    Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: Oh god the wrold would be complete then. But in reality it shouldn’t matter if the girl or the guy does it, because what happens if we miss that one somebody because they didn’t find it acceptable to ask you out. Down with socitey.
    Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I think, or they are fucking with me.
    What is best about the opposite sex?: That they are the opposite sex. Girls are the best thing in the whole world.
    What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: Periods. I feel sorry they have to have them.
    Do you consider your significant other hot?: Very, Very sexy too. ;)

    Who Was the Last Person...(these are all blow me questions.)

    That haunted you?:
    You wanted to kill?:
    That you laughed at?:
    That laughed at you?:
    That turned you on?:
    You went shopping with?:
    That broke your heart?:
    To make you sad:
    To make you cry?: myself
    To brighten up your day?:
    That you thought about?:
    You saw a movie with?:


    Right This Moment...

    Are you going out?: yeah
    Will it be with your significant other?: oh you mean tonight? no.
    What are you wearing right now?: Pj’s with a dress shirt.
    Body part you're touching right now: nose.
    What are you worried about right now?: nothing.
    What book are you reading?: living learning and loving.
    What's on your mousepad?: Spot light
    Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: netural. That’s about it.
    Are you bored?: no
    Are you tired?: just woke up.
    Are you talking to anyone online?: Yea
    Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: No.
    Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
    10:12 pm
    Look how important it is...
    The “I” is always capitalized when it is alone. Just showing how important you are to yourself. You can’t celebrate anyone in this world until you celebrate yourself. Find out how important your “I” is.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
    10:19 pm
    Sweet Citrus, wait, now, smile
    Colors of blues, white,
    Green, red, and orange.
    Isn’t orange a wonderful word?
    You can stick it in your mouth like a cheese-it.
    It’s also a fruit,
    Oh what an amazing fruit.
    You can peel the outer shell and
    Come to the juicy center.
    Bite into the soft new orange
    And taste its
    Sweet Citrus.
    Smile as your taste buds jolt.

    What another wonderful thing,
    Not the taste, but the smile.
    We look around at the people
    We all have and can notice their smile.
    Watch their face and,
    Wait,
    Till they laugh. See not their eyes or cheeks.
    Forget about just their teeth and chin. Search not for tiny wrinkles that crunch together.
    Now,
    Look at them whole and marvel at the beautiful uniqueness
    Each of us has.
    No one has Ashley’s or Heather’s smile,
    Andrew’s smile is anonymous to people who don’t know him.
    Everyone don’t hide your smile,
    Embrace its Individuality because
    We all only have one.

    Look around,
    Become curious of everyone’s
    Smile,
    And when they laugh let your heart jump from the gift that you can
    Only find in them.
    Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
    9:19 pm
    There may be alot of typos...
    Looks are strange. They are constantly changing on us. Not only because of the clothes we decide to wear and for girls the make up. It isn’t because of how happy we are or sad, or even angry. When we look at someone they can be ugly one day and pretty to next. That can even happen for just a couple seconds. I believe laugher can do that. When I see someone laugh I see a huge change in their appearance, they become better. It’s laugher or some kind of joy.
    I check out a lot of girls, considering I am a guy I find that better then to check out guys. It is a good thing to do though too. I do look at guys because they are what the girls I am looking at are looking at and I have to say… I suck at judging guys. There is a difference between the two sexes on how we rate each other. Anyways a lot of girls are pretty to me. It can be there hair, or their eyes or their nose anything really that is attractive. I take them in that day too, because the next day they will not look the same.
    That part just looks so out of place in my mind. I have not written an entry like this in a long while. I am doing my best.
    Yes I do check out a lot of girls and I do have a girl friend but to let you know, so you know me better, she is the most beautiful of all the girls. She has grown more beautiful than she was before. I look at her and see someone who has something more than any other girl. Other girls are hott, some are pretty. Those girls can be very sexy even. But when they stand next to my girl friend they are nothing. I know this is how every guy feels about their girl friend.
    I believe that we all have an ideal lover in our mind. The ideal lover is someone who we have built out of everything we like about a person. Just to let you know now, this is all unconscious. They are the perfect mate for us at the moment. This is constantly changing from all the new information you process through out the day though. When we have no one to like this ideal lover is being built off stimuli. The ideal lover is being built off of outside information, or indirect information. This is why we say we want this type of person and end up with someone totally different. The reason why we find someone different from that image is because response is now thrown into our mind. Response starts up emotional feeling. These feelings are joy and excitement. Those feelings are associated with the person and then our ideal lover begins to change.
    We like these feels of joy and happy. Side note these feelings are so powerful because we begin to get noticed. Because we all need to be noticed. We become important to someone and that is what it is all about. Oh being a human is so much fun. That is another story though. Anyways since these feelings are associated with the person they begin to change our ideal lover. This happens over time and our ideal lover becomes more and more like the person we are with. That’s how it all works. This is why when we get a crush it rapidly changes momentarily because of the excitement of the new thing.
    I believe my ideal lover looks a lot like my girl friend. She has the same pretty face and cute nose. She is someone who makes me laugh and have fun. She is someone who cares about me so much and for that I have to thank her for. She has given me so much and because of that she is beautiful. I don’t believe any other girl comes close to her. She is truly beautiful in my eyes. I love you Kelsey.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski

    *This theory was cooked up over about a 10 minute period.
    Sunday, April 11th, 2004
    3:10 am
    Woah...
    I saw "the girl next door" last friday and while everyone else may say it is not a good movie, i found it wonderful. I thought it was a really good movie, kind of kept going on but i loved it. it wasn't for the girls either people.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Sunday, April 4th, 2004
    9:12 pm
    So Tuesday...
    That sounds really beautiful to me right now. "So tuesday." Doesn't that sound just beautiful?
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Sunday, March 28th, 2004
    10:16 pm
    No animals
    I went to my friends farm this weekend to help his family clean it up. It is the coolest place. Its out in the middle of no where and a huge lot. the house is really nice there too. In the summer me him nelson and some other people will have to go out there for a long weekend.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Monday, March 22nd, 2004
    9:30 pm
    being fully human...
    “That this wonderful quality of humanness, with all its wonder, is god’s gift to you and what you do with it is your gift to god. Don’t satisfy yourself with anything less then offering god the perfect give you are and have a blast doing it."
    ~~Leo F. Buscaglia
    Sunday, March 21st, 2004
    8:55 pm
    Friday i when i was walking home after school i smiled the whole way home. Everything out side was beautiful, it’s a shame how much people take for grant the world gives. Then tonight i looked up at the stars and clouds and just stared. Persons get out side for at least five minutes a day and see what beauty you can find. You will be amazed.
    ~Scott A. Niewinski
    Sunday, March 14th, 2004
    8:53 pm
    God damn it...
    Just let me live love!
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
    10:52 pm
    What?!?
    Why can't I do it, It is so simple in my mind and yet once the opportunities comes into my reality I choke and say ill do it another time. Why can’t I just do it and see what happens, why am I so afraid of the risks I want to take. I wish for someone to tell me why I can’t do these, what do you want to do that you don’t do because you are afraid of the risk?
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
    Monday, March 8th, 2004
    3:02 am
    WO-TAH!
    I got to have a four day weekend, which was kind of nice, kind of not. I didn’t really learn anything thing though from it.
    Sunday, February 29th, 2004
    10:29 pm
    THANK YOU JESUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!!!111<---OWNAGE the ones
    BOO-YA this weekend I went to a halo tournament (video games) and got 4th place out of 64 people. Damn last 3 fuckers were cheap though. Anyways I think that was pretty sweet. First tournament I go to I get 4th place. Also everyone should see the passion of Jesus Christ. EVEN if you’re Jewish because it just shows what Jesus, real or not, went through for his people. He got the shit beat out of him and then got the shit stabbed out of him. During that whole time he was like “they know not of what they are doing.” Then after they kill him he even goes through hell for them. Doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. Go see it.

    With love,
    Scott A. Niewinski
    Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
    10:21 pm
    I wish, i wish i didnt kill that fish...
    I wish I had more courage or will. I notice now that is a part of my life, and everyones life, that can make you happier or sadder.
    Also i want to be able to breath underwater and have someone come along with me who could too.
    ~~Scott A. Niewinski
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